A Divine Facebook Message

Alarm goes off. I pry my eyes open. I open my computer. I go to the bathroom while the laptop’s turning on. Letting the dreams leave my brain; prepare for the real world. Facebook, of course, is the tab that’s open. Facebook is my entrance into reality. In my grogginess I see someone posted a new picture. Someone wants me to attend the event “Dobby Remembrance Day”. Someone just entered a relationship. And there sitting in the middle of the newsfeed is a message from God…

“On this day God wants you to know…” says my newsfeed.

Half-awake I stare at this divine message. My shock and awe is somewhat subdued though, as I’ve seen such messages before. Now to be fair, God himself did not send me this message—no, he sent it to my friend, posted it on her wall. He sends messages to a few of my lucky friends who have added the “On this day God wants you to know” Application.

On a daily basis this miracle of communication can be seen! God is sending messages to facebook pages everywhere!

Though God’s punctuation use is questionable:

And He may remind you of all the things that make you feel bad:

And His message is sometimes that he wants you to know....then gives you a command:

And He makes up words:

His messages still enlighten facebook users on a daily basis.

Now perhaps this sarcasm, mocking the idea that a deity, God specifically, would actually be suspected to be communicating with people through facebook is unfair. Sorry Zuckerberg, but God may not actually be using facebook to communicate, perhaps the intent of these Godly messages is not to impersonate a deity—and perhaps one is not to suppose that these messages are given by God, but rather by some earthly being sitting at his or her computer typing away relaying God’s message. Some mortal soul who has the power to know what God wants me to know about my day. This person is not impersonating God, but merely passing along his messages.

This makes me feel a little better. Now my message from God is being translated through some unbelievably powerful and all knowing individual who is blessed enough to have the right to speak for God, but has a Facebook account like any other mortal.

The immense power of this person conveying the message is a little unnerving. If my facebook page told me that God wanted me to know that I’m doing things wrong, I should talk less, or appreciate the world more, or make myself more “un-busy” how could I possibly not change my entire being to follow this divine advice?

But then, I guess I can see the appeal. Having an uplifting message reminding me to put my problems aside, and were I religious perhaps bringing my faith into my facebook world could be extremely rewarding. Maybe seeing these daily messages “from God” would be just enough to remind me of my beliefs and would balance out some of the stupid, silly, and vain uses of facebook…

But wait…I do not have the app. God sends me no messages. I am left to negotiate the world without the input of God on my facebook profile. But at least I get the chance to see what he wants my friends to know every once in a while. Even though it’s not a message personally intended for me, I can take the advice to heart. I greatly appreciate when my friends share this Godly advice with me.

Kimmy Scheible