You know you’ve reached a critical stage in your life when your 17 cats look up at you from their bowls of catnip and broken dreams with eyes that say, “You really need to get yourself a date.”
When my precious feline friends first confronted me, I was initially angry and confused. After 25 years of living sans gentlemen callers and only leaving the condo every Tuesday at 2 pm for a grocery and cat food run, why now my darling babies? Why look at me with a gaze of innocence and question, completely out of the blue, and question the lifestyle I’ve maintained for two and a half decades? What have I done to instill this worry in your minds? What about the life I lead concerns you?
After a Cats: The Musical Marathon, hours of soul searching, and 15 minutes of When Harry Met Sally (It was just too much for me. Are they friends or what? Why does it have to be so complicated?), it came to me. A possible solution. The internet. I got on my computer and researched. I regret having started my search with questions like, “My cats are telling me I need a man. What is wrong with them?” If anyone out there needs a number for a psychiatric facility, just hit me up. I’ve been offered complimentary stays at all of them North of the Mason Dixon Line.
But computers are pretty smart these days. Fairly quickly, it picked up on my dilemma. Before I even realized it myself, my computer had figured that even though I wouldn’t admit it, my cats were right. I wanted to break into the dating scene and my internet indulgence was a subconscious cry for help. Pretty soon I was being led to blogs, chat rooms, and online encyclopedias, soaking up all the information about dating in the 21 century.
And then, eureka. The goddess divine that is Wikipedia brought me to the solution. Grindr. For those of you darling readers, who like me, are living in denial, suffocating under a mountain of cat litter and nostalgic thoughts from your pre-school days when boys actually wanted you to play with them on the jungle gym, listen up. Grindr is a program that one can install into one's phone and-well, actually, I’m a little unsure of how is works. I mean, my phone has one of those fancy dials and is mounted to a wall (a birthday present from an antique store from Fluffy) so would I have to them plug it into my computer (?), I mean I don’t know. Whatever, it doesn’t matter, on to the point! This program is like a mini condensed dating site. When you pull it up, hundreds of profiles of singles appear. And this part works by “geolocation,” so the profiles you see on your “home page” are organized by who lives the closest to you! How convenient!
And this, ladies, is the best part. All of the profiles I’ve seen so far have been men! AND not a single fun loving twenty something bar maid with blonde hair to compete for their affection! Gosh they must be SO bored! All dressed up with nowhere to go and no one to go with.
C’mon gals. Lets infiltrate Grindr and give all these eligible, good-looking males something to get excited about. As soon as we flood the “grinding” scene with our mature manners of seduction that only come with age and a lifestyle of seclusion (like fine wine in the bottom of a cellar) I guarantee we will be received with open arms and hearts by the array of strapping young gentlemen “grinders” and Fluffy, Mr. Fuzzles, Sir Tubbington, Fifi, Georgie, Mittens, Butternut, Whiskers, Sissy, Pickles, Carlos, Snuffles, Cupcake, Waffles, Puddles, Binks, and Billy Crystal will finally be able to eat their cat nip in peace.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Runner-Up: My Beautiful Dark Twisted Pitchfork
The Beatles’ Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club. The Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds. Bob Dylan Highway 61 Revisited. Kanye West’s My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy? On November 22, 2010, the music-review site Pitchfork granted Kanye West’s new album its highest distinction: a perfect 10 out of 10. The 10 is a distinction rarely bestowed – in the last decade, only four non-compilation albums have gotten such a high score. For a site that normally gives only one rap album a halfway decent score (say, an 8.5) annually (ostensibly only to appease the hip-hoppers in its audience), this review suggests that Fantasy may belong among the pantheon of greatest albums ever released.
But does that really make sense? How does an album that proclaims “Have you ever had sex with a pharaoh?/Put the pussy in a sarcophagus” (“Monster”) merit perfection? At the end of this review, critic Ryan Dombol positively bubbles “With his music and persona both marked by a flawed honesty, Kanye's man-myth dichotomy is at once modern and truly classic. ‘I can't be everybody's hero and villain, savior and sinner, Christian and anti Christ!’ he wrote earlier this month. That may be true, but he's more willing than anyone else to try.” It is perhaps true that relate-ability can elevate music from “good” to “great”, but Kanye’s album falls far short of that standard. On “Runaway”, which Dombol hails as a “rallying cry for all humanity”, guest artist Pusha T opines “I’m just young, rich, and tasteless.” I choose to focus on the line of a guest artist because here, Pusha T says in one line what takes Kanye West multiple minutes to tell you metaphorically. He seems to be informing us that he is an asshole, which should come as no surprise to anyone that pays even a minute amount of attention to pop culture. And speaking of relate-ability, I can’t help but consider the ways in which “Profit, profit, nigga I got it/Everybody know I'm a motherfucking monster/I'm a need to see your fucking hands at the concert” profoundly impact my daily existence. Which is to say, not at all. In this album, perhaps more so than any other that Kanye has ever released, the audience is overwhelmingly struck by the reality that everything that Kanye is talking about only relates to the life of Kanye West. Unless you, too, are a narcissistic pop star that was unfortunately introduced to twitter (or, as Kanye himself would expect, Michael Jackson), there is little in this that makes me reevaluate my own life in a new way. All I glean is that, somehow, Kanye realized that he was imperfect, and decided to write about it.
But wait, there’s more: “'Runaway' marks the rare moment where Kanye sides with his detractors-- if the whole world thinks he's a douchebag, well, this one time he's inclined to agree.” Whaaaaa? When did it become a best-album-ever-scale accomplishment to realize one’s inherent flaws? I would be willing to wager that better part of all music released in the last century featured at least some critical reevaluation. In fact, it’s not even that uncommon in rap music. Pitchfork also asserts that “[the album] begins to feel as if Kanye is stage-managing his own award show with enough starpower…to flatten the Grammys, the VMAs, and the rest all at once.” Seriously, if we’ve gotten to the point of evaluating this album on the starpower of its guests, then we really are hopeless. There is little value in a music review that fails to break from the context set by its own artist. And, let’s face it, we’re probably giving him too much credit. For an album that is introspective at its core, there is a lot of bravado on display – Kanye is constantly talking about his own prowess at just about anything. It’s easy for the artist (and even easier for Pitchfork, it turns out) to pass this off as irony – that Kanye’s just providing you a stereotype of himself so he can subtly undermine it later. It’s art, they’d tell you. Ironic art, however, is a total cop out. We can never know what Kanye meant, but this album is chock full of the pussy-in-a-sarcophagus stupidity that makes mainstream rap painful to listen to.
Let’s agree, please. Kanye may well be the best producer alive. And he’s not a half bad rapper – I’d choose him over 50 Cent or Lil Wayne any day. But he’s not the best ever. And that’s just the dark, twisted truth.
Rahul Sastry
Runner-Up: Product Placement: Yay or Nay?
Product Placement. We’ve all seen it and to be honest, it doesn’t bother me too much...when used properly. For example, it can:
Discretely add to the realness of a scene. As is the case in the Mac laptop pictured in The Office below. Barely noticeable and not at all inappropriate for the work setting. All in all, I think The Office does a good job of slyly incorporating product placement without cheapening the show. It’s almost like a subliminal message.
and even...
Add an element of humor to a plot. Take the not-so-subtle, but very hilarious example of Junior Mints on Seinfeld a few years back. The entire episode revolved around Kramer’s comical obsession with the candy. “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint, it’s delicious!” Discreet? Not quite. But did millions of viewers feel the sudden urge to discover what they'd been missing? You betcha.
Trouble viewing the video? Check it out here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhbMqjnYNfI
But alas, every now and then, an out-of-place second product pitch can be the most painful 5 seconds of your life. Well, maybe not really, but it’s pretty bad. Take for example, the shameless (and almost comical) plug for Vitamin Water on Gossip Girl recently. Now for those of you who don’t watch the show, Gossip Girl follows the “scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite”. The characters are known for their impeccable taste in fashion and their exquisite taste for the fanciest of foods and drinks which include tea, scones, caviar, tarts, French macaroons, champagne, and apparently...Vitamin Water. I don't have a problem with Vitamin Water, but really? As if momentarily diverging from the main storyline and lining up an array of the brightly colored bottles (placed beside a Chanel book of course) wasn’t enough, Eleanor Waldorf proceeds to flip through a book for the Vitamin Water design competition. *cringe* Thankyouverymuch CW, but I personally would like the cherished snippets of show that come in between frequent commercial breaks, to actually be focused on the plot.
So what do you guys think of product placement in TV shows? Cheesy at all times or clever when used correctly? Does anyone else feel that out-of-place product placements distract from the show and should be left for the commercials?
-Posted by Erika Roach
Discretely add to the realness of a scene. As is the case in the Mac laptop pictured in The Office below. Barely noticeable and not at all inappropriate for the work setting. All in all, I think The Office does a good job of slyly incorporating product placement without cheapening the show. It’s almost like a subliminal message.
and even...
Add an element of humor to a plot. Take the not-so-subtle, but very hilarious example of Junior Mints on Seinfeld a few years back. The entire episode revolved around Kramer’s comical obsession with the candy. “Who’s gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It’s chocolate, it’s peppermint, it’s delicious!” Discreet? Not quite. But did millions of viewers feel the sudden urge to discover what they'd been missing? You betcha.
Trouble viewing the video? Check it out here! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zhbMqjnYNfI
But alas, every now and then, an out-of-place second product pitch can be the most painful 5 seconds of your life. Well, maybe not really, but it’s pretty bad. Take for example, the shameless (and almost comical) plug for Vitamin Water on Gossip Girl recently. Now for those of you who don’t watch the show, Gossip Girl follows the “scandalous lives of Manhattan’s elite”. The characters are known for their impeccable taste in fashion and their exquisite taste for the fanciest of foods and drinks which include tea, scones, caviar, tarts, French macaroons, champagne, and apparently...Vitamin Water. I don't have a problem with Vitamin Water, but really? As if momentarily diverging from the main storyline and lining up an array of the brightly colored bottles (placed beside a Chanel book of course) wasn’t enough, Eleanor Waldorf proceeds to flip through a book for the Vitamin Water design competition. *cringe* Thankyouverymuch CW, but I personally would like the cherished snippets of show that come in between frequent commercial breaks, to actually be focused on the plot.
So what do you guys think of product placement in TV shows? Cheesy at all times or clever when used correctly? Does anyone else feel that out-of-place product placements distract from the show and should be left for the commercials?
-Posted by Erika Roach
Friday, June 3, 2011
The Obscenity of "South Park": Vulgarity for Humor
Recently the Comedy Central show “South Park” has taken a turn for the worse. For those unfamiliar with this popular television show, one must understand the unique audience that this show attracts, namely high schoolers and drunk, stoned or procrastinating college students. The show follows several 4th grade kids in their adventures. “South Park” can be described in many ways including immature and obscene, but can it really be considered a constructive social critic?
In the past I have enjoyed “South Park” because I believe it balanced humor and immaturity with a genuine point of view of two average American citizens, the creators of the show, Trey Stone and Matt Packer. These two individuals air a show every Wednesday night during the season and begin working on the next week’s production every Thursday morning. Therefore, each show is supposed to be very relevant for the audience in sharing their perspective on contemporary world events.
However, in the current season I have seen a falling out of the balancing condition the show had previously captured. The lack of creativity and loss of a real message for each episode has been replaced by obscenity. For instance, in the show that aired on April 27, titled “HumancentIPad,” I was astonished by the amount of truly indecent and vulgar scenes and discussion taking place in the episode. This particular episode made me question the new priorities of its writers. It was the first time that I was concerned about young people watching this show. I also felt a pang of guilt that there were most likely middle school students and other young kids watching this show. I realized that with the easily accessible episodes available online, these episodes could be watched by virtually anyone with a computer regardless of age or parent censorship.
The most recent “South Park” episode dealt with racial stereotypes and multiple personality disorder. I did not find it funny, entertaining or contributing anything more than giving me an avenue for procrastination from the stress of finals. I believe the only times “South Park” has a comical effect is when it comments on a current topic that is relevant to the common American viewer. I believe “HumancentIpad” was a failure because those unfamiliar with the movie titled “Humancentipede” would not understand and therefore think that Trey Stone and Matt Packer just have the most distorted and morbid sense of humor imaginable. I would recommend Packer and Stone stop trading humor and creativity for vulgarity. They need to reevaluate their choice of topics and revert back to their roots: making these cartoon characters act completely irreverently and obscenely in order to create humor, not just to criticize a point.
-Nolan Pura
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Not Your Typical Catholic Christening
No, I don’t fake bake and I don’t wear bumpettes in my hair. But, I’m from New Jersey. Before leaving New Jersey for California, I wasn’t so rah-rah about the land of the waffle houses, 24-hour diners, and the gas stations where it’s illegal to pump your own gas. But, since my time at Stanford, I have gotten super-defensive about it. Especially after the explosion of trashy but addicting reality TV shows like Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of New Jersey (though I have yet to see an episode of E!’s Jerseylicious), the hate came tenfold from people all over. When meeting new classmates, people would greet the news that I hailed from NJ with, “Oh, Joisey?” Mm yeah, that’s a laugh. Real original. How long did it take you to think of that? Or they think I’m joking when I say NJ is the Garden State. I’m not. Really, look it up. However, at the same time, trashy reality TV is like a car crash, it’s brutal but I can’t look away. And the Real Housewives of New Jersey Series fall under this category. Though I originally boycotted Jersey Shore and The Real Housewives of New Jersey because it sends the wrong message about the general population of New Jersey, I finally gave in. Because at the end of the day, these reality stars are so over-the-top that these 40-something-minute snippets of their lives paint them as characters, rather than people, that it’s less about where they’re from and more about the drama they bring to the viewers.
Which brings me to the Season 3 Premiere episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey. After two seasons of the Real Housewives of New Jersey episodes under my TV viewership belt, I thought the show had reached the peak of its drama. From Teresa Guidice’s “prostitution whore” rant and table-flipping directed at Danielle Staub, to Jacqueline’s daughter’s weave-ripping incident with Danielle, I thought I had seen it all. However, at Melissa and Joey Gorga’s infant son’s christening party, things got ugly. With the Joey and Joe yelling obscenities and attempting to charge at each other, causing other christening partygoers to either hold the two men back or start brawling with other partygoers, in addition to the children crying and telling their parents to stop fighting, the christening party was anything but a wholesome affair. However, unlike the other drama that has happened in the past, I wasn’t laughing at the train wreck I was watching. Rather, I was wide-eyed, slightly horrified, but engrossed. And it somewhat pained me to see Teresa and her husband at such odds with Teresa’s brother and his family. Caroline, another Real Housewife on this show, said last year that “blood is thicker than water.” Family is very important, especially on this show, and the fact that there is so much drama and tension between the Guidices and Gorgas is kinda tough to watch. But, this season premiere has drawn me in further, not because it’s even more over-the-top than I ever expected it to be, but because the bit of vulnerability these cast members show the camera, weaved into the craziness, extravagance, and absurdity of the show, adds some depth to these characters, even if it does so ever so slightly.
And, for all the craziness I can’t personally relate to, I agree with Teresa’s opening credits one-liner, “I’m a Jersey girl. No one can knock me down.” Real talk.
- Sarah Gepigon
Monday, May 30, 2011
UEFA Champion's League
UEFA Champions League. Does it ring a bell? How about if I say FIFA World Cup? Can you guess what the UEFA Champions League might be referring to now? Yes, it involves feet and a ball, a sport our European counterparts rightfully refer to as fútbol.
Unlike the World Cup, UEFA Champions occurs annually, bringing together the most talented, renown, expensive, and competitive European clubs into one sphere where fans everywhere can watch them compete for glory. This year, the championship culminated in a face-off between Spain’s FC Barcelona and England’s Manchester United. Tensions and expectations were high as both teams had much to offer, but unfortunately, the victory was decided long before the match began—with Barcelona as the undisputed victor. Not only does Barça carry the four of world’s best players, but their mastery of the game and strong-arm tactics make them an undefeatable team as well. It may seem a bit of hyperbole to say that Barcelona is undefeatable, but the statistics don’t lie, and they currently support my seemingly exaggerated assertions. Barcelona’s past victories against reputable clubs are universally recognized as complete dominations. It is sad to observe “great” teams struggle against Barcelona, but Barcelona never disappoints. Fans everywhere, and Manchester United, had known this, and Barcelona’s performance on Saturday confirmed that they are indeed the best. Barcelona defeated Manchester United 3-1, with 22 shots on goal (compared to Manchester’s 4 shots), and 68% of the possession of the ball.
It is indisputable that Manchester was dominated in their home turf on Saturday. But this event and its tremendous viewership demonstrate how this exhilarating sport is gaining fame. According to Seth Pollack of SB Nation Arizona, viewership for the Champion’s league final reached over 300 million viewers. In the aftermath, Nielsen’s Media Research reported that viewership has indeed increased as they observed a 93% increase in views over the previous season. Perhaps the chance to witness such beautiful soccer, as performed by world-class players, is what is drew the larger amount of viewers, but the point is, a once under-recognized sport is finally gaining the recognition it deserves.
Note:
Although the author may appear to have an unshakable bias against any team that isn’t Barcelona, this impression is far from the truth. The author is a fervent supporter of Chelsea FC. His perspective is said to be “neutral”.
Santiago Naranjo
Unlike the World Cup, UEFA Champions occurs annually, bringing together the most talented, renown, expensive, and competitive European clubs into one sphere where fans everywhere can watch them compete for glory. This year, the championship culminated in a face-off between Spain’s FC Barcelona and England’s Manchester United. Tensions and expectations were high as both teams had much to offer, but unfortunately, the victory was decided long before the match began—with Barcelona as the undisputed victor. Not only does Barça carry the four of world’s best players, but their mastery of the game and strong-arm tactics make them an undefeatable team as well. It may seem a bit of hyperbole to say that Barcelona is undefeatable, but the statistics don’t lie, and they currently support my seemingly exaggerated assertions. Barcelona’s past victories against reputable clubs are universally recognized as complete dominations. It is sad to observe “great” teams struggle against Barcelona, but Barcelona never disappoints. Fans everywhere, and Manchester United, had known this, and Barcelona’s performance on Saturday confirmed that they are indeed the best. Barcelona defeated Manchester United 3-1, with 22 shots on goal (compared to Manchester’s 4 shots), and 68% of the possession of the ball.
It is indisputable that Manchester was dominated in their home turf on Saturday. But this event and its tremendous viewership demonstrate how this exhilarating sport is gaining fame. According to Seth Pollack of SB Nation Arizona, viewership for the Champion’s league final reached over 300 million viewers. In the aftermath, Nielsen’s Media Research reported that viewership has indeed increased as they observed a 93% increase in views over the previous season. Perhaps the chance to witness such beautiful soccer, as performed by world-class players, is what is drew the larger amount of viewers, but the point is, a once under-recognized sport is finally gaining the recognition it deserves.
Note:
Although the author may appear to have an unshakable bias against any team that isn’t Barcelona, this impression is far from the truth. The author is a fervent supporter of Chelsea FC. His perspective is said to be “neutral”.
Santiago Naranjo
Just One More Tab: Being a Troper
What’s fun, addictive, informative, and rhymes with television myopes? Of course, I’m talking about the venerable Television Tropes (and Idioms) wiki. For the efficient and busy members of society, be warned: TV Tropes will ruin your life. What is it? According to its home page, it is a “catalog of the tricks of the trade for writing fiction,” though by its own admission it is “not a stuffy encyclopedic wiki…a [lot] more informal.” That means it analyzes and notes all sorts of different media techniques, ranging from pages on the Rule Of Cool (characters that are too cool in a film or series are immune from death), to the Infinity Plus One Sword (an object, usually associated with fighting video games, that is very difficult to obtain but basically invincible) to Insane Troll Logic (self-explanatory). The genius comes in the list of organized examples from different media (video games, advertising, movies, real life) for the current page’s trope submitted by readers, with witty or biting humor often included for fans to appreciate. In true wiki fashion, the page and examples all link to other relevant tropes, most of which have amusing or relatable names (how can you not click on a page titled Arson, Murder and Jaywalking?), made even worse by the ability to add tabs to a computer. After TV tropes, tabbing will no longer be a verb for pressing that button on your computer keyboard.
Why is it so popular? Well, for people with souls (just kidding, it would take a lot more than not having a soul to dislike TV Tropes), TV Tropes represents our need to socialize and connect at its best: giving us a medium to explore and understand what we see every day, and be able to connect with society. There’s just something special in being able to understand the magician’s tricks. To paraphrase physicist Richard Feynman, there’s a beauty in enjoying something, and a separate beauty in understanding its deep meaning. Obviously, a lot of the points will only make sense to you if you recognize it, but just like the well-loved Wikipedia, TV Tropes is expansive enough to provide something for everyone, whether you watch television or study literary deconstructionism for a living. It’s all in good fun, though, and don’t worry; if you’re confused about what I’ve been talking about just check out It Makes Sense In Context; it’ll clear things up. Take My Word For It.
Alborz Bejnood
The Guilt-Free Pleasures of Epic Meal Time
This new Youtube video series may, at first, appear to be a group of idiotic guys that simply like to create the unhealthiest meals with as much bacon as possible. But, in reality their meals are quite creative and innovative. They are able to create elaborate meals using culinary expertise while taking you on an ‘epic’ adventure (with an epic soundtrack to boot) in search of ingredients and the actual creation. In one episode titled “Breakfast of Booze” with a tagline “getting drunk off of breakfast,” they create a feast of bacon chocolate chip beer waffles, and pancakes, bacon wrapped ham, and creamy sausage blankets all dipped in beer batter topped off with whipped cream and candied bacon. The show provides an escape from conventional cooking and always ends with someone devouring the feast.
Besides catchy phrases like “bacon strips, bacon strips” or “sauce boss” Epic Meal Time has found alternative ways to find the hearts of its viewers. By creating epic meals with ridiculous caloric contents (up to 40,000), the creators of Epic Meal Time allow you to live vicariously through their cooking and forget about the constant worry about counting calories if only for the brief 5 minute video. We can watch them create a steak-shaped slab of cookie dough covered in chocolate and a candy version of cheeseburgers and hotdogs completely guilt-free. This appeal to our secret desire for combining the tastiest, greasiest foods into one dish makes the show so popular. No one in their right health-conscious mind would even imagine a recipe for a pizza composed of fast food contents. But, we are able to see our craziest food dreams come to life through this series of cooking shows without having to worry about the cost to our health and wallets.
Besides catchy phrases like “bacon strips, bacon strips” or “sauce boss” Epic Meal Time has found alternative ways to find the hearts of its viewers. By creating epic meals with ridiculous caloric contents (up to 40,000), the creators of Epic Meal Time allow you to live vicariously through their cooking and forget about the constant worry about counting calories if only for the brief 5 minute video. We can watch them create a steak-shaped slab of cookie dough covered in chocolate and a candy version of cheeseburgers and hotdogs completely guilt-free. This appeal to our secret desire for combining the tastiest, greasiest foods into one dish makes the show so popular. No one in their right health-conscious mind would even imagine a recipe for a pizza composed of fast food contents. But, we are able to see our craziest food dreams come to life through this series of cooking shows without having to worry about the cost to our health and wallets.
Halo the new Star Wars?
Bungie's Halo initiated a revolution in the genre of first-person shooters. Since its inception in 2001, Halo has been the chimerical avatar for Microsoft's venture into the gaming console industry, spearheading the release of the original Xbox and facilitating the success of the system in a market dominated by Playstation fanatics. In fact, the game has become so popular, the term "halo killer" was coined for the most promising up and coming games ready to take the thunderous spotlight from the billion dollar franchise. However no game has ever come to rival Halo's impressive arsenal of multiplayer matchmaking, captivating story, and loyal fan community that has come to be known among gamers as "The Seventh Column."
What started the tumultuous legend was Halo: Combat Evolved. Set on an alien RingWorld, gamers play as the sole survivor from a contingency of super-soldiers bred for Humanity's last stand against the assault of an unyielding alien race. The franchise grew from the solitary game to include nine books, a series of anime shorts, two graphic novels, five comics, three reference books, and an encyclopedia. That's not counting the six games, whose gross income exceeds over 2 billion dollars. The "Halo Universe," as it is called, has far exceeded the reach of a few videogames to encompass something akin the the world created by Star Wars.
As a loyal fan myself, one of the most memorable aspects of the halo world has been the multiplayer. Being the first first-person shooter I ever played, the hours spent dueling in online matchmaking or just against fellow siblings and cousins was a memorable bonding experience that has carried over to college friendships and dorm comraderie. As I move on as gamer Halo will always hold a special place in my heart. As the one that started it all, as time becomes more sparse I will always make time to play the most memorable game the gaming industry has to offer. I stand proudly with the rest of the Seventh Column.
James Acevedo
Underground Music Spotlight: 2562 Album Review
Prominent underground artist Dave Huismans, otherwise known as "2562", released his full-length album "Fever" worldwide in March, 2011. He combines elements of techno, broken funk, and dubstep in his music, which uses the bassline as a primary voice in songs. Here is a track-by-track review of "Fever," with youtube links to my favorite tunes on the album. Simply put, this album is out of this world, where 2562 masterfully weaves some of the deepest basslines with otherworldly melodies. I highly recommend this one.
1. Winamp Melodrama - Huismans uses broken Windows samples to create a hard-hitting rhythm. Good use of effects like filters and masterful sampling accompanies this tune. A fair opener to the album, albeit slightly repetitive. My Rating: 7/10
2. Cheater - very upbeat vibes with the drum beats and a weighty, melodic bassline make this a great track on the low and middle sections. I was left wanting more from the high-end, until hearing the trippy synth lines. My Rating: 7.5 / 10
3. Juxtapose - Great broken percussion on this track, with a deep wobbly bassline to accompany it. The hip-hop style, high-end synth shows how 2562 is a master of several genres of music. Recommended! My Rating: 8.5 / 10
4. Aquatic Family Affair - Deep, underwater sounding bassline with a strangely uplifting synth line. Nice animal noises. This song has great builds too, that keep listeners enraptured throughout the entire song. Highly recommended! My Rating: 9.5 / 10
Link:
5. Intermission - Very Melodic with a deep, funky bassline that keeps the body moving! The instrumentation on this track is great, everything comes together nicely. And I found this one strangely uplifting (strangely uplifting is definitely a common theme of this album...) My Rating: 9 / 10
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aC2BzXUi1Ic
6. Flavour Park Jam - Eerie bells with a growling dark bassline open this track up to create a dark mood, while 2562 shows off his percussive skills with a minimal drum line. Finally this song adds a wobbly mid-range synth line that's strangely uplifting. Very sonically pleasing tune. My Rating: 9 / 10
7. This is Hardcore - the only thing hardcore about this song is the heavily processed, rolling bassline that constitutes most of this track. Tribal sounding drums complement the bassline while a moving organ darkens the tone of this song. My Rating: 8.5 / 10
8. Brasil Deadwalker - A very fast drumline pushes this moving track, which quickly introduces a deep, groovy bassline. The song's breakdown is completely out of this world, this is where 2562 takes his music to new levels. His manipulation of the main melody, expertly throwing the rhythm slightly off-beat really captured me. I feel the drums were a little too repetitive in this track, however. My Rating: 8.5 / 10
9. Final Frenzy - I really like the old vintage feel that Huismans uses on this track. The drums really got me moving too! Definitely one of my favorites. This feels like a driving music of a pseudo-reality, and I completely enjoy it. My Rating: 9.5 / 10
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DIGwEbO1kgY
10. Wasteland - The second half of this album is really groundbreaking when it comes to 2562's sonic stylings, and Wasteland is no exception. This one has a very tribally feel which makes me imagine some sort of futuristic, tribal ritual in a post-apocalyptic society. Word. This track has a downright epic use of samples as well. If you don't have a subwoofer, you probably can't hear half of this song. My Rating: 9 / 10
11. Fever - This song is, without a doubt, one of the reasons why I am a fan of 2562. The distorted female vocals really work wonders with 2562's light use of percussion and deep, moving bassline. Elevator music of the year 2050? I think yes! 2562 is truly a master of bass music. I highly recommend this song. My Rating: 10 / 10
Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cjqvnw4ouZw
Chuck Season Finale
I can appreciate the new villain. I can (barely) appreciate the (often disgustingly sweet) relationship between Chuck and Sarah. I can appreciate John Casey’s uber masculinity. I can appreciate the heck out of Jeffster. Here’s the problem: I cannot appreciate Morgan Grimes with the Intersect.
Lovable as he is, Morgan as a super spy is extremely farfetched. Transforming Chuck, the awkward klutzy geek of the Buy More, into a kung-fu master overnight just walked the line between over the top and perfect comedic genius. Transforming Morgan into any sort of successful spy will be analogous to sprinting across that same line full force, or apparently in Morgan’s case, doing running back flips over it.
Morgan is the man child responsible for pitting Jeff and Lester against each other in a cage fight. He’s the guy who failed every single spy test that Casey created for him. He’s the one who used to hide under Ellie’s bed and watch her change. The one who always serves as the bait in missions because he’s not skilled enough to do anything else.
Morgan is lovable andhe’s a necessary comedic aspect to an incredibly successful show. Chuck probably wouldn’t be the same without Morgan, but he will never be the perfect spy and in trying to make him one, the season 4 finale of Chuck has finally gotten too ridiculous for my tastes.
Lovable as he is, Morgan as a super spy is extremely farfetched. Transforming Chuck, the awkward klutzy geek of the Buy More, into a kung-fu master overnight just walked the line between over the top and perfect comedic genius. Transforming Morgan into any sort of successful spy will be analogous to sprinting across that same line full force, or apparently in Morgan’s case, doing running back flips over it.
Morgan is the man child responsible for pitting Jeff and Lester against each other in a cage fight. He’s the guy who failed every single spy test that Casey created for him. He’s the one who used to hide under Ellie’s bed and watch her change. The one who always serves as the bait in missions because he’s not skilled enough to do anything else.
Morgan is lovable andhe’s a necessary comedic aspect to an incredibly successful show. Chuck probably wouldn’t be the same without Morgan, but he will never be the perfect spy and in trying to make him one, the season 4 finale of Chuck has finally gotten too ridiculous for my tastes.
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